This year I've told everyone that I am making an "anti-resolution." Resolutions never work for me, so... anti-resolution. I would like to stop eating so much bad for me food and I would like to stop wasting so much time on junky TV! So I have publicly resolved to, "eat more Cheetos, drink more wine and watch more Bachelor." That should do it! Anti-Resolution.But truth be told... as I sat in this very same spot, this very same time last year... I had made some "goals" for myself. Not resolutions, "goals." And, the first of said goals was....
run a half marathon! Photo evidence... done and done. What a weirdo right? I'm even smiling after 13.1! Crazy girl.
And second? Ms. Rosie. Ahhhhh Ms. Rosie.
My how we've grown!
You see, September of '09 I made little Rosebud my own. Man I was smitten. 36 years old and had never owned a horse of my own. Of course, as a girl, I would beg, borrow and steal rides every chance I got. Horses have always been the "ring" to my Gollum.... (my precious.) I just longed to touch them when in their presence and every country drive found my eyes scanning the horizon for any equine silhouette.
So, when given the opportunity I seized it. And by doing so, broke every covenant of horse ownership that ever was.... DON'T fall in love. A young Arabian mare, an inexperienced rider = a possibly dangerous combination. Clinton Anderson said, "don't." I ignored it. And, who ignores Clinton Anderson?!
So, my first time on Ms. Rosie found me in the air and, quickly, on the ground. That's right. I got bucked off my horse. She was scared. I was stupid. End of story? No.
I was in love but more than a little intimidated. I wanted to ride her more than anything but I knew that I needed help, (telling myself she needed help,) and I vowed to wait the winter... bond with her, let her get to know me, and send her to a trainer in the Spring. So, this time last year I was dreaming of riding MY horse. I was afraid to want it and yet... I wanted it desperately. So did it happen?
But that's hardly the end of the story, is it?
In short, I've learned that if I want something badly... but I'm afraid... that the object of my desire must be something REALLY good. Something worth waiting for. I found her worth the wait and the anxiety and the worry. Worth it all. And still I'm learning. Learning that it's okay to be afraid. She's really not "mean." Learning to be quiet and still and to breath her in... the essence of her, while letting ME go. And then I learned, am learning still, that I do have to get in the saddle again... in due time... but there's no rush. Never a rush.
So, for 5 days a week, Spring, Summer and Fall, I rode. We rode. Miles and miles.
Sometimes I was afraid and sometimes she was too, but once I realized that we had to take care of each other and support each other through it, my goal was "winter's goal" realized.
Where does this leave me now?
Looking toward the greener pastures of this coming Spring...and more rides.... and more growth.